Inspirational Quotes

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Archive for the Category 'Perfectionism'

Criticism

Thursday, September 19th, 2013

Yesterday, my daughter received a criticism from her boss. He called her an overachiever. His feedback was intended to nullify what she knew. 

Criticism goes into the flesh like a fishhook. It takes some time to work it back out of our tender psyche.

Yet we live in a society that has been taught to criticize, to use critical thinking to win an arguement. We must simply understand and accept that criticism is part of the human condition. Here are some insights to help you when you have been touched by criticism.

Don’t be afraid of opposition.  Remember, a kite rises against—not with—the wind.

–Hamilton Mabie

 

I have yet to find a person who did not work better and put forth better effort under a spirit of approval rather than a spirit of criticism.

–Charles Schwab

 

Being criticized is not a problem if you develop a positive way of dealing with it.  Winston Churchill had framed on the wall of his office the following words of Abe Lincoln: 

     I do the very best I can, I mean to keep going. 

     If the end brings me out all right, then what is said against me won’t matter. 

     If I ‘m wrong, ten angels swearing I was right won’t make a difference. 

 

Churchill received much criticism in his lifetime and Abe Lincoln was roundly criticized in his day, just as most of our public figures are today.  It takes a person of great courage to forge ahead and do what he honestly believes to be right when critics are howling against him.

 

Remember that all the water in the world won’t sink your boat it if doesn’t get inside.  Rise above it.  Make certain you are right, and then stand by your convictions.

–Zig Ziglar

Stand by your conviction said Zig.  It takes a great deal of personal strength to do that. Receiving criticism gives us an opportunity to build great personal strength.  Lori Deschene lists 25 ways to cope with criticism and the benefits you can receive by using these practices. She says that the more attention you receive, the more criticism you will receive. Finding ways to cope strenghtens your self confidence.

 

Malcolm X stated that if you have no critics, you’ll likely have no success.  Here are some other delicious quotes about criticism. Jean Sibelius emphasized that there are no statues erected to honor critics so pay no attention to them. 

 

When we receive criticism, it is easy to surrender to thoughts of unworthiness. Build your confidence by remembering that Perfectionism doesn’t serve you. Reach again towards the Miracle of you.

 

Perfectionism

Friday, April 22nd, 2011

Perfectionism bombards us with thoughts of “I’m not worthy, I’m not enough, I’ll never amount to anything, I’ll never get it right, I’ll never be OK.” 

How can we possibly be our best self and give our fullness to the world, when we are caught in the corrosive thought traps of our inner critic?  The following inspirational quotes can lead you to the path of compassion, acceptance, and connection with the human condition.  Understand how this pattern of perfectionism developed.  Recognize you inner voice urging you to perfectionism, and develop your adult inner voice that says “We’re all in this together. We are all enough. We are all trying to do the best we can do – and that ain’t ever going to be perfection.”

      Think of your self-defeating thoughts as a fence around you marking where your compassion ends and your harsh judgments begin.  To free yourself, imagine stepping beyond the fence into a vast field that goes on as far as you can see.  Allow a breeze to thin out your thoughts and blow them away, and notice that you are part of the vast energy that connects us all.
      –Charlotte Kasl

      How much of our lives are frittered away–spoilt, spent, or sullied–by our neurotic insistence on perfection?  Perhaps our parents expected us to live up to a standard they themselves could never achieve.  Certainly they wanted more for us.  But more of what?  Misery?  Haven’t you had enough?  Accept that perfection is unattainable.  In real life we should strive to be our best – not the world’s.
      –Sarah Ban Breathnach

      Mistakes are the portals of discovery
      –James Joyce

      Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
      –Truman Capote 

      Always keep in mind that the Inner Critic’s original function is to spare us shame and pain…  In the growing-up process your parents have to teach you to look good and to behave appropriately in order to succeed in the world, both at home and in the workplace. After all, who would be to blame if you turned out badly? So you parents look at you, try their best to figure out what is wrong with you, and do their place to fix it.  The same is true of relatives, teachers, religious leaders, people in your workplace, and general acquaintances. 

      No matter what their motivation, the basic message you received …in all of this is:  “There is something wrong with you.”  The implication is that if only you would improve yourself all would go well for you. 

      In order to protect ourselves from the pain and shame of always being found less than we should be, a voice develops within us that echoes the concerns of our parents, our church, or of other people who were important to us in our early years.  We literally develop a “self” a separate subpersonality, that criticizes us before our parents—or anyone else, for that matter—can!…………It is extremely anxious, almost desperate, for us to succeed in the world and to be accepted and liked by others.
      –Hal Stone and Sidra Stone – - Embracing Your Inner Critic

      How do we embrace imperfection? What does it take to live and love from a place of worthiness?  How do we cultivate what we need and let go of the things that are holding us back?  The answers to all of these questions are courage, compassion and connection….  Our vulnerabilities are what force us to call upon these amazing tools.  Because we are human and so beautifully imperfect, we get to practice using our tools on a daily basis.  In this way, courage, compassion, and connection become gifts – - the gifts of imperfection.

      –Brene Brown, Ph.D.The Gifts of Imperfection
       

      Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.
      –Brene Brown, Ph.D. – The Gifts of Imperfection

      I’ve come to truly believe that all that is being asked of each of us is to be as real as we can be.  To become fully ourselves and to offer that fullness to the rest of the world.  That’s no small task, indeed it is the ongoing work of our lifetime.  But it certainly is much easier-on us and others-that striving for perfection.  It frees up so much time, energy and joy—and can’t we use a whole lot more of those?
      –M J Ryan

    I hope you have enjoyed this small glimpse into one way we contract ourselves.  To help yourself remember how much more your are, read This Miracle Called You and The Self, and the three essays in Life.

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